The Sexists Around the Tea-Table & The Patriarchs in the Workroom

We can’t predict when the tea table serves sexist jokes, advice and concerns. And we all have to behave like ‘LOL, it’s a casual joke or concern. Let it be our home, a wedding hall, workplace or WhatsApp group, ‘women and morality’ are an essential ingredient in every tea.

It can be someone from your family or the patriarch of the workplace. They never leave a chance to tell you how to present yourself, how to behave and how to protect morality. And we never get to know when they will end up as our self-proclaimed guardian angels guiding and monitoring us.

It is not about men, but it is about people who act as the guard of patriarchal morality. Conditioning starts from birth. Sex is biological, but gender is patriarchal! Defining capabilities and roles on the ground of gender is inhumane.

During the journey towards womanhood, I was showered with gendered consciousness. My priority, career, the gravity of acquaintances and friendships were pre-launched. But to be frank, I had a choice to choose my career, but not my life. I am all into financial independence. But I still don’t know, is this freedom?

Sitting at a desk and watching the monthly salary getting credited, I never explored a life beyond that. Gendered people around the family tea-table told me, you are privileged to lead a life that most women can’t dream of. I believed that, but no more I could be dumb enough to believe that.

After hours of hard work and dedication, the patriarchs of my workplace advised the importance of choosing something womanly that is delicate, less risky and easy to be handled. They think I am going to be somebody’s possession soon. Thanks to the foresight you have about my life. But don’t you think it’s time to look into your inner self. Take a sip and go for it.

The tea tables are not going to change. And it is not always about grey hairs and men. Sexism happens everywhere when women outshine men and when a woman outshines another woman. Tomorrow we will be sitting at the same te-table, savouring the tea filled with sexist talk. And again, it’s going to be like LOL! it’s nothing but a joke.

— — -Aiswarya Madhu